Singin' Til My Voice Is Gone

I love music. Like everything about it. Its so versatile. It can be used to convey any emotion on the planet. I absolutely love the power of words and language, however I think words can be over rated. Music makes us FEEL. If you listen to someone speak, you may get a lot out of it, you may get nothing. It all depends on your knowledge of the words the person is speaking and your ability to discern what the person means by their words. Music is so much simpler. A small child can listen to a complex piece such as "Pathetique" and feel its haunting intensity.

The beautiful thing about music is that it causes you to feel, without requiring anything from you. If music is playing and you have functioning ears, you will hear the music, without giving any kind of effort. Sure that aspect can be used for good or for ill, but when used properly it is an incredible gift. A very unselfish gift.

From the time I was two, I've loved music. I knew all the primary songs by heart (and after teaching sunbeams for the past few months I've realized I still do), I knew every word to every Garth Brooks song in my dad's CD collection. I would run around the house (sometimes clothed, sometimes not) with an oversized plastic baseball bat as my guitar, pretending to be Travis Tritt. Its always been in my blood, but it took a few more years to realize it.

By the time I turned 11, puberty took its toll on my singing voice. I'd never felt like I was much of a singer in the first place, but a changing voice really makes singing that much more difficult and awkward, so I decided that music just wasn't going to be for me, and I gave up.

Then came June. For my dad's birthday we bought him a classical acoustic guitar from the pawn shop for him to learn on. My dad, a HUGE fan of the guitar, loved the gift, but his busy traveling schedule forced him to put the guitar aside and focus on providing for the family instead. When he was gone on business, I would go into his closet and pluck the strings, trying to find my way around the fret board. It was right then and there that I fell in love.

I wrote my first song when I was about 12. I was in love. At least as much in love as a sappy 12 year old boy can possibly be. I re-wrote the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, dedicating it to the girl who I was so crazy for at the time. I can't imagine how weirded out the poor girl must have been when I gave her the lyrics, confession my undying affection in the creepy and awkward way only a pre-teen could. But thankfully she was a very kind girl, graciously accepting the paper and even encouraging me on my writing.

The year I moved to TX was the year I truly began writing on an everyday basis. It was a very emotionally draining time. Lots of sadness from leaving my friends, but also so much excitement from making new ones and looking forward to what the future held for me.

Writing took away from other things however. Looking in my shoebox full of old lyrics sheets the other day I realized over half of the lyrics were written on the backs of homework worksheets I probably should have turned in rather than using them as scratch paper. I always seem to have inspiration at the most inopportune times.

I feel extremely comfortable playing in front of crowds. I'm not much of a singer, but I feel more confident now that I can at least carry a tune. I would love to go on tour and play my music for people. Even if I got that opportunity I would think about it very carefully. I want to have a family, and growing up with my dad on the road, I've seen the challenges that presents. On the off chance I ever got chosen to go on any kind of tour, I would make sure I put my family first. But maybe I'll find a girl who would enjoy it as much as I would. Maybe I'll find a Tarah to go with my Bryce Avery?

One can hope at least. As for right now, I'm enjoying the audience of my bedroom walls.