As a Site-To-Store Associate at Walmart, I spend a lot of time in the area that used to be Layaway. Its located in the middle of the back wall, where you will also find bathrooms, water fountains, and, of course, the safety recall board. This is perhaps the most hilarious/alarming/are-you-friggin-kidding-me area of the entire store. During a particularly slow period of my shift, I traveled beyond the desk and looked at the items on the board. Items recalled are as follows.
Highchairs: "Severe Lacerations"
Apparently a certain brand of highchair not only lets you feed your baby while including it in family meals, it also can shred it to pieces....particularly horrifying.
Baby Food: "Acute Diarrhea"
Not just Diarrhea. ACUTE DIARRHEA!! I don't really want to play out scenarios in my head of this, but I imagine that could get pretty messy.
Trampoline: "Failure to meet weight capacity requirements"
Will break you bones, and destroy your self esteem when you look at the box and see that you single-handedly broke a trampoline supposedly designed to withstand over 1000lbs of weight bouncing up and down on it. Nobody wants to be "That Guy" at the birthday party.
Water-Activated Flashlight: "Electrocution"
First off, unless I'm spear-fishing for Barracudas in the Amazon at one in the morning, I don't really see a need for a water-activated flashlight. Secondly, I would never trust it not to zap me. So when I heard that this flashlight had a tendency to electrocute its users while submerged in water, I wasn't exactly, well....shocked.
Lawn Mower: "Involuntary Engine Startage/Risk of projectile blades"
I think of it as "Brave Little Toaster" meets "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". This definitely reignites the instinctive distrust of yard equipment I've had ever since I was electrocuted by my weed-eater. Aside from the obvious physical dangers and potentially catastrophic events this type of defect could create, think also of the mental damage this could do. Somewhere there is a child who is always sitting in his room grounded for refusing to mow the lawn based on his conclusions that Lawn Mower is alive. "Dad, I swear it starts by itself and starts flinging the blades at me!!!", followed by a response from the Dad: "C'mon Nancy! Stop slacking and get to work!!". Best case scenario, we have a new Stephen King. Worst case, he either falls victim to the blades of the evil grass cutter, or takes the anguish felt from the mistrust of his father and propels himself towards a life of crime. I feel for the kid. I really do.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Could somebody get me a manual??
It has been quite some time since I have posted something new. And even LONGER since I've posted something worth reading lol. Anyways, this holiday break has been quite a roller-coaster. Christmas was wonderful. It was full of service, family and friends. I have to say Christmas of 2010 was the most special Christmas of my life so far because I was actually focusing on Christ. I loved it.
The rest of my holiday has been one to behold. Full of all-nighters with old friends and lots of good quality conversations about everything under the sun. However I was caught off guard by the wave of emotions, feelings, mindsets, goals, tendencies, etc, etc, that I haven't really noticed or dealt with since high school. It got me thinking about the growing up process, and when (or if) it ever even happens.
Disclaimer: You are reading the words of a guy who thinks one of the most philosophically deep movies of all time is Kung-Fu Panda -Yes thats right, and I'm sticking to it (keep an eye out for an entire post dedicated to that arguement)- so the case could very well be that I'm just immature by nature and disposition, and not much in the world will ever change that.
I'm still waiting on the day when my mind completely moves on from high school. I don't mean emotionally letting go of the glory days roaming the halls of your alma mater, I mean like the moment when you just start thinking differently. That moment when your knowledge of the "big picture" finally overcomes teenage "reasoning". Because as teenagers we pretend to know, understand, and make decisions based on "The Big Picture" (from now to be referred to as "TBP"), but in all reality, we end up making decisions naively based on hormones or something of the sort. I sure did. I expected it almost. I knew that most of the things I worried about were fairly trivial, but I still worried about them, because I'm a teenager. What I didn't expect, for some reason, was being 19 years old, two years out of high school, and pretty much feeling the exact same way. HOLD ON JUST A SECOND!!! When do I finally get to move on??
Maybe no one really does? Maybe we just pretend to? Maybe we find something or someone or somewhere that helps us forget? I'm not really sure. I know these are the years of "figuring it out" but I'm already kind of tired of it. I have no problem jumping off the high dive into the deep end, but I need to at least feel the water first. Unfortunately when the water is in reality the future that you will be creating, there is no preview allotted. Some people can't take a leap of faith because they don't trust a certain person or something of the sort. I am afraid of the leap because I don't really trust myself!
The rest of my holiday has been one to behold. Full of all-nighters with old friends and lots of good quality conversations about everything under the sun. However I was caught off guard by the wave of emotions, feelings, mindsets, goals, tendencies, etc, etc, that I haven't really noticed or dealt with since high school. It got me thinking about the growing up process, and when (or if) it ever even happens.
Disclaimer: You are reading the words of a guy who thinks one of the most philosophically deep movies of all time is Kung-Fu Panda -Yes thats right, and I'm sticking to it (keep an eye out for an entire post dedicated to that arguement)- so the case could very well be that I'm just immature by nature and disposition, and not much in the world will ever change that.
I'm still waiting on the day when my mind completely moves on from high school. I don't mean emotionally letting go of the glory days roaming the halls of your alma mater, I mean like the moment when you just start thinking differently. That moment when your knowledge of the "big picture" finally overcomes teenage "reasoning". Because as teenagers we pretend to know, understand, and make decisions based on "The Big Picture" (from now to be referred to as "TBP"), but in all reality, we end up making decisions naively based on hormones or something of the sort. I sure did. I expected it almost. I knew that most of the things I worried about were fairly trivial, but I still worried about them, because I'm a teenager. What I didn't expect, for some reason, was being 19 years old, two years out of high school, and pretty much feeling the exact same way. HOLD ON JUST A SECOND!!! When do I finally get to move on??
Maybe no one really does? Maybe we just pretend to? Maybe we find something or someone or somewhere that helps us forget? I'm not really sure. I know these are the years of "figuring it out" but I'm already kind of tired of it. I have no problem jumping off the high dive into the deep end, but I need to at least feel the water first. Unfortunately when the water is in reality the future that you will be creating, there is no preview allotted. Some people can't take a leap of faith because they don't trust a certain person or something of the sort. I am afraid of the leap because I don't really trust myself!
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