Kids say the darndest things!

On Wednesday nights I teach the eight-year-old Cub Scouts. On Sunday's I help teach the three-year-old's. These kids in both groups are absolutely freakin hilarious! These kids make my day twice a week! It's amazing what little kids will think to say. 

*Disclaimer: The identities of these kids will be revealed only by nicknames of my choosing. I will refrain from using any real names.*

There is this boy in my Cub Scout Den that looks a lot like Calvin from "Calvin and Hobbes". On my first day, "Calvin" felt obligated to repeatedly inform me that he had a "sexy butt". I told him I did not care about his butt, however I would be happy to kick it should he continue to teach the rest of the boys a new word. When he refused to stop, I asked him if he even knew what sexy meant. Before Calvin could answer, another boy in the group chimed "it means he's got NATURAL CURVES!!". What has this world come to?

My first day teaching the 3-year-olds was no less eventful. I began by going around the room asking each kid their name and age (i knew their age, but I enjoyed watching them trying to figure out how many fingers they needed to put up...i'm such a kind man.). As I was making my way around the room, one of the boys stood up and introduced himself as "Tony Stark, Stark Industries. But at night when my mommy and daddy go to bed, I'm IRON MAN!!!." Five minutes later, when I finally stopped laughing, every other kid decided that they were a super hero as well. I was totally fine with referring to them as Spiderman, Superman, Hulk, Wonderwoman, Catwoman, etc. I even got into it (I was Jason, The Red Power Ranger). However I had to tell the kid who wanted to be Jesus Christ that he would have to pick someone else. Talk about ego issues!

When trying to teach little kids, leverage is vital. Kids are not dumb, as I learned quickly. I am sad to say that I have been manipulated and outwitted by a child who still wears pull ups and has yet to step into a pre-school. I was once persuaded to allow the little ones to have their snack ten minutes early. Instead of appreciating the gracious reward, they decided that after their animal crackers had been consumed, they would begin removing their clothing and streak across the classroom. When I asked one of the "ringleaders" to put his clothes back on, he asked "u more ammal crakuhs?" I told him I had no more. He then laughed at me and resumed his streaking. Thus we see that even before they are completely potty trained, children understand leverage, and WILL use it against you.