Eight Is Really Enough

Growing up in a big family is a very cool but very unique experience. There are things you learn while growing up with five siblings constantly surrounding you that you cannot learn anywhere else. I will always be grateful for my parents willingness to have a big family, because its had everything to do with the person I've become. Here some things I have learned being a part of an anything-but-typical family.

1.First and foremost, looking out for number one will leave you looking out of one.....eye I mean. Its not tolerated. If your parents don't get to you first, your siblings will let you know how they think about selfishness in a much less civil way.

2. Socks are like currency. Theres a myth that each sock has an identical twin. Do not believe this. It is a lie.

3. When dad brings home the good cereal (meaning the sweet stuff that was on sale), it has an estimated survival time of under ten minutes. You better be fast, or you WILL be eating Great Value Toasted Oats for breakfast.

4. You might become a legal adult when you are 18, but you become self reliant eight years earlier. Like it or not. By the time you are 10 you will be doing your own laundry, making your own breakfast and lunch (except for Saturdays when dad cooks breakfast), and you will be required to do the dishes (most likely without a functioning dishwasher).

5. 3 pairs of jeans, a pair of dress pants, two pairs of shorts, and you've got it made. But remember this: you can NEVER have enough pairs of underwear/undershirts.

6. Taking more than three minutes in the shower on a Sunday morning will earn you a trip to the ER. God hath no fury like the wrath of three women who had to take cold showers.

7. That cute little plot on TV where the older sibling threatens the younger one into agreeing not to rat him out to his parents NEVER works. The younger ones are tough and won't be afraid of you.

8. The scenario where the mom cooks, cleans, does laundry, makes your bed, cleans your room, ya it doesn't exist either. Probably for the best.

9. The fight over who gets to be "player 1" on the playstation will create more casualties than D-day.

10. Older siblings are actually only half sibling/half parent. You look two siblings up the chain from you and you are looking at someone who has changed your diaper and spent half of their social life in high school babysitting you for free. Thus giving them the ability to create the ultimate guilt trip.

11. Everyone has at least one near death experience, often created by another sibling. Whenever there are guests you all go into story telling mode, where everyone talks about their worst injury or something of the sort.

12. Bathroom humor happens at the dinner table all the time, but mention the word "sex" and everyone immediately turns crimson red and changes the subject.

13. You will grow up thinking every family in the world has a rotating chore calendar. Its not true. You are the only one.

14. NEVER get stuck grocery shopping with your parents. Feeding eight people requires on average 3 hours of grocery shopping per trip. 

15. Road trips bring out the worst in people. Invest in your future and buy an mp3 player. Death by boredom (or the bored person sitting next to or behind you) occurs frequently though poorly documented.

16. Every family has a legendary flu story. Its part of the family lore. Ours was Christmas of '98. Known by my family as "The Barf Christmas". 30 cousins, aunts, uncles, siblings, parents, etc suffered the stomach flu while spending the holidays at my grandparents house. I still have nightmares.

17. You will develop the ability to ignore ANYTHING! You will impress your friends as they come over and witness you go about daily life full of crashing pots and pans, yelling and screaming siblings running around, and dogs barking, without hearing a SINGLE thing. Turns out people at school notice your skill as well.

18. Your first car will be able to seat AT LEAST six people. It will probably be a van or the most uncool suburban. Great for hauling your guitars and drums to a gig, not so great for impressing dates on say, Prom Night.

19. "Leftover Nights" are either full of masterpieces, or some of the most inedible creations ever consumed by a human being. It all depends on the skill of the artist.

20. No matter how you got along with each other, you will miss each person as they begin to move out. One of the strangest transitions in life will be going from the house that never slept to the quiet house. The solution? Pick up a couple guitars and a drum-set and start a band with the remaining siblings. Because a quiet house is a very boring one.