Movember

I think the idea of "no-shave-november" is the worst ever. Not because I dislike the idea of having some excuse to grow out facial hair, but because I am unable to do so. Movember is simply a month born to taunt me and my baby face. For me to celebrate Movember would be like the Colonists losing the Revolutionary War, but still deciding to celebrate Independence Day with tea and crumpets. I'm not in the business of celebrating failures, unless it has to do with sports, then all bets are off.

My younger brothers love Movember. Their ill-advised attempts at beards actually turn out better than mine because they are actually visible. The world would be able to see my sad attempts as well, however my facial hair grows more on one side than the other, and is bleach blonde to the point of almost being transparent. You can only see it if the light reflects perfectly, and then you will still be disappointed. Its such an ego blow. My younger brothers, the ones who use straighteners every morning and fight over who gets to wear the Gucci female sunglasses every day pick fun at my masculinity because they can grow better beards than I. I tell them gay men grow out their facial hair all the time, and it doesn't make them any less gay, but alas, the damage is done. I'm just grateful Movember is over. Now I can have peace of mind as I christmas shop for my brothers at Victoria's Secret.